You’re Missing

I wrote this poem a while ago and decided to post it. I just uncovered it and remembered how much I loved it.

 

I was the love of your life

and you were the love of mine

and you were the lover of my mind

and everything I wanted to find

But then you left

and you took it all away

and nothing I said could make you stay

and I shouldn’t even bother now, anyway

But I love you,I love you.

And screaming doesn’t help

because you never listen

to the pain I felt because I was missing

you so much that my blood would glisten

Across my skin

I started getting sick

and my hair was thin

and so was my body

Because I wasn’t enough

to keep you around

and I knew that, so I lay on the ground

hoping to stop this spinning around

but my world isn’t slowing down

So why is yours?

that’s not fair

you keep your sanity, your weight, your hair

and meanwhile I’m here, gasping for air

wondering, wondering why you’re not there.

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Untitled Poem

It’s not fair 

that you get to live a normal life

unharmed, untainted, unafraid.

It’s not fair 

that you’re strong and intimidating and wreckless.

It’s not fair

because here I am, a year later,

still broken, hurting, upset, sad, and scared.

I’m not scared of seeing you anymore.

I’m scared that I’ll fall back into your trap

like I did so many times,

apologizing because you said it was my fault

and I believed you..

I believed you.

And I lied to my family and my friends

when you gave me gifts and flowers and that damn Taylor Swift CD.

I let them think it was because you cared about me.

I let myself think it was a reward for being sorry.

I still don’t know what I was sorry for.

You chose to hurt me,

you chose to yell at me,

both for really no reason

and I know that now.

But I don’t understand why.

I doubt I ever will.